Relationships

I said I wouldn’t be posting about this because I think some things should be kept private, but I’m doing a blog challenge where you write about a given list of topics so I thought I’d skim over it just to give everyone an idea of my life and why I don’t really place too much value in them.

I had a couple of short term relationships in my teens that were always dramatic and the end of the world (in that stupid teenage way until you realise when you’re older that they didn’t really matter). Obviously my most significant relationship was with Carl, who I met when I was 18 and went on to have a 5 year relationship and a child with. I thought we would be together forever; problem is when you meet someone so young things change over the years. You’re not the same person in your 20s as you were in your teens and when we split up I realised that it was probably the best decision we could have made.

I said after that I was going to spend some time on my own. I’d been in a serious relationship for such a long time and I was only 23 when it ended. I’d never experienced being single, having a flat that was completely mine (I went straight from my parents to a shared house and then to live with Carl) and being able to make decisions where I only had to think about myself (and Max of course).

It was 6 months before I dated anyone else and it was a pretty surreal experience when I did. I’d been used to a comfortable, safe relationship and this one brought drama which was not something I was prepared for. I find it impossible to trust anyone outside of my family and a couple of close friends. I definitely don’t trust men and I don’t think I ever will. This means I’m really reluctant to get too close to anyone and probably why I’m best when I’m not in a serious relationship. It just doesn’t matter to me like it does to some people. I have family that love me and friends that are there for me, I don’t really need anyone else.

Saying that, I’m still dating the same guy and it’s been going on over a year now. There’s something there that I can’t let go of. The way I live probably isn’t for everyone, but it works for me. I’m still on a journey of self discovery and who knows what kind of person I’ll be in 10 or even 5 years’ time? At the moment I’m just going with the flow and I’m happy with that. ☺

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