The nightmare that is UCAS

It’s Saturday night and I’m currently at my parents house. I said I’d look after their dog while they go to someone’s barbecue (I did it last weekend as well while they went to Splendour festival. I’m such a good daughter 😆).

I thought I’d do something productive with my time (while having my cheat meal. Garlic bread come at me) so I’ve finally registered with UCAS. I want to have my application all ready as I’m planning on sending off to universities by November.

Call me naive but I’m just sat staring at the page in absolute horror. I didn’t realise how much there actually was to fill out! The personal statement gives you up to 4000 words 😲 I always did well in English at school (two As at GCSE) but the idea of having to write a page bigging myself up just horrifies me. I’m hoping that once I get the first sentence out then the rest will flow. It’s just that first sentence that’s bugging me at the moment 😂. Oh, and I had no idea you had to pay for it either. £23 😕

Also, I have no idea who I’m going to put as my reference. I did my access course through the Open Uni and had one phone conversation with my tutor so I don’t think she knows me enough to write one. And I haven’t been employed for over a year so there’s no one there either. I am hoping to start some voluntary work next month so hopefully I’ll have a nice manager who will write me one 😊.

Wish me luck people. I’m gonna take my time and do it right, fingers crossed it all pays off!

Max’s progress

Max had his 5th visit to the creche today. I’m really pleased with how well he’s coming along. The staff there said he still cries for me when I first leave but he’s getting a lot better. Apparently today he kept asking one of the workers for cuddles, bless him 😂. His nursery induction day is in 5 weeks time! I wanted to get rid of his dummy pretty soon but he likes having it in at the creche, I think it helps to soothe him so I think I’ll wait until he’s settled properly before I throw it away.

One good thing is that the past couple of days he seems to have stopped his daytime nap. I’m really glad about this because he was napping between 1-2 hours in the day and then I would struggle to get him to sleep at night. He was then waking up every morning at about 5.30 which was knackering me out 😩. Now he’s been falling asleep as soon as I put him in bed at 7 and sleeping until about 7 the next morning. We’re both very happy with that!

Making memories

I’ve just got back from Norfolk where I’ve been on holiday for the last 5 days with my son. We had a lovely time but it was kind of bittersweet as well. I’ve been going to the same place since I was a child as my Nana and grandad own a caravan there. Unfortunately my Nana passed away last December so it will never be the same, but we still had a lovely time. Some of my favourite childhood memories are going to that caravan, at least once a year since I was about 6. I’d love my son to have those same memories. I think it’s really important to hang onto memories, not to live in the past but to remember all the good times. 😊

I’ve fallen off the wagon a bit with my eating (the temptation of ice cream was too much) but I’ll be back in the gym next week and I’m gonna train extra hard to make up for it. I’m still on a high from my access course results as well so I’m feeling good at the moment! ✌

Top 10 gym songs

I’ve had 4 gym visits so far and I’m really getting into it. I love the feeling of achievement afterwards. I even love the aching muscles (although not so much after leg training when you’re walking up the stairs like John Wayne).

The gym I go to has music playing but it’s not always stuff that’s to my taste. I didn’t bother taking headphones the first couple of times I went, but now I’ve started I couldn’t go without them. It’s amazing how much the right music can motivate you and push you to work hard.

I can’t lie – I do like the “girl power” kind of songs for my workouts. I know it’s a bit cheesy but they’re definitely the most fun. I’ve seen quite a few “top 10” lists on other blogs so I thought I’d list my top 10 gym songs.

1. Little Mix – Salute

2. Solo 45 – Feed em to the lions

3. Pink – Raise your glass

4. Christina Aguilera – Fighter

5. Beyonce – Run the world

6. Labrinth – Earthquake

7. Ludacris – My chick bad

8. Lady Gaga – The queen

9. Nicki Minaj – Pound the alarm

10. Dr Dre – Forgot about Dre

The next step

Today I got the results I’ve been waiting for. I passed my access course! I’m over the moon as this means I’m one step closer to getting into university.

I’ve got a while now to do some research as I’m not applying until the end of the year but I have so many decisions to make now. I’m not sure exactly where I’m going to apply to but I think I’ll keep it to myself anyway in case I don’t get in – I don’t want the disappointment of everyone knowing if I don’t!

It’s taken me so long to decide what I want to do with my life and I’m so proud of myself for what I’ve achieved over the past year especially alongside being a mum to a toddler. Thank you so much to everyone who has helped me – family, friends who have believed in me etc. I’m gonna stop there cos this is not the Oscars but I’m so happy. The future is looking bright. ☺

Letting go

“Sometimes, the people you want as part of your story are only meant to be a chapter.” This is one of my favourite quotes and something that I’ve been going through recently with a couple of people.

Sometimes in life you meet people who you really click with at the start. You have a sort of rose tinted view of them, and you couldn’t imagine not having them in your life. As time goes by, you start to see flaws. Try as you might, you can’t recreate how you felt at the start. It might be a case of “right person, wrong time”, it might be that you realise you aren’t as compatible as you thought. It’s sad when you think how close you were at the start, but ultimately you know they weren’t meant to be a permanent fixture in your life.

That’s just how I feel, anyway. Some things just naturally come to an end – be it a friendship, relationship or whatever. Never regret it, not if it made you happy at one point. And who knows, sometimes those characters pop back up again in the story when you least expect them to. 😊

Halfway through 2015!

Happy July everybody! I can’t believe we’re halfway through the year already. I know everyone says it, but time really does fly.

I never really make new year resolutions because I think they’re way too easy to break. Instead I set goals for myself throughout the year and plan how I’m going to achieve them. Too many people are reluctant to work for whst they want – I was one of them not too long ago. I spent too long drifting through life not really doing much and now I’m feeling focused and disciplined.

Someone said something to me the other day that I thought was lovely: “I think it’s great how you stay so positive and driven even when you’re going through a bad time.” I think it’s so important to focus on what you do have instead of what you don’t. I go on social media quite a lot and the amount of people being negative about themselves is unreal. “I’m just so bored with life.” “I’m life’s biggest fuck up.” “Would anyone notice if I just disappeared?” These are a few I saw just this morning.

I genuinely find it so sad that people feel this way. I think the problem is that we put too much stock in what other people think. I don’t know if it’s because I’m an only child, or that I didn’t have a proper dad around for the majority of my childhood, or that I’m a single parent now, but I’ve never had that problem. I’m genuinely not bothered about validation from others. As long as I want to do something, I’ll do it. Nobody is that important that their opinion will have an effect on my life.

Basically I’m just trying to say that everyone should keep motivated! Don’t let anyone dictate your happiness or your self worth. Make the second half of 2015 the best you can. It’s not always easy to keep positive but who wants to spend their life being sad? If someone or something screws you over, don’t waste time being bitter. Take my advice – success is the best revenge. 😊