My crazy life

I haven’t blogged in over 2 months now, just because I’ve been busy and the urge hasn’t been there to write. I don’t want to force myself to make blog posts that I don’t want to, because if I don’t enjoy writing them how can I expect anyone to enjoy reading them?

So – what’s been happening in the last 2 months: I think most people know now that I will be moving to London in September to start at Goldsmiths university. This was a decision I struggled with initially – moving away by myself with my son to a city where I have know family and don’t know that many people is a very daunting experience. But I’m a big believer in taking chances, in challenging yourself and following your heart, and my heart told me I should go for it and accept the offer.

Max turned 3 last week and we spent a week on holiday in Ibiza. When I told people that’s where I was going everyone presumed I was going on a clubbing holiday. In reality I’d rather rip my own eyeballs out than go on one of those tacky holidays. There are a lot of places in Ibiza that are good for families if you go out the way of the clubs and we had an amazing time. We also visited Formentera which is another one of the Balearic islands. It’s really given me the bug to go on as many holidays as I can, even though I don’t really like flying!

My mindset has changed a bit over the last couple of months. Things that seemed really important to me just aren’t as much any more. It’s funny how your moods and feelings change especially when you never thought they would!

I think one of my favourite things about life is never knowing what’s around the corner. Sure, it might not always be good stuff, but we have so many choices and options open to us. We really can be whoever we want to be.

25 questions

I haven’t blogged in a while, not a lot has been going on at the moment so I thought I’d do another one of these “getting to know you” posts with a list of questions that I found on another blog. Here they are!

1) What is your middle name? Rose
2) What was your favourite subject at school? English
3) What is your favourite drink? I should say water but if I’m being honest it’s Dr Pepper. I hardly ever drink it though. I also love coffee.
4) What is your favourite song at the moment? 5th harmony – work from home (judge me!)
5) What is your favourite food? Cake, and Ben & Jerry’s. Just a sweet tooth!
6) What is the last thing you bought? Costa coffee
7) Favourite book of all time? Memoirs of a Geisha
8) Favourite colour? Pink
9) Do you have any pets? No. If I’m honest I couldn’t really be bothered with one. Too much commitment involved especially when you have a child.
10) Favourite perfume? Loverdose by Diesel
11) Favourite holiday? I haven’t really travelled enough to decide but my favourite memories as a child were going to my Nana and grandad’s caravan in Norfolk. Sometimes it’s just small things!
12) Have you ever been out of the country, if so how many times? Yeah I have. 3 times to Spain, twice to Greece and once each to France, Italy, Turkey and Portugal.
13) Do you speak any other languages? No but I’m planning on going on a language course at some point.
14) How many siblings do you have? I’m an only child
15) What is your favourite shop? I tend to buy most of my stuff online so I don’t really have one.
16) Favourite restaurant? Risley Park
17) When was the last time you cried? I genuinely can’t remember. I’m not a crier.
18) Favourite blog? Mine 😉
19) Favourite movie? Dead Man’s Shoes, Die Hard
20) Favourite TV show? At the moment it’s Pretty Little Liars
21) PC or Mac? PC
22) What phone do you have? I dunno it’s some Samsung one
23) How tall are you? 5’3, almost 5’4!
24) Are you in a relationship? I’m dating
25) Can you cook? I’m not that great but I’m getting better. Doesn’t help that I live in a flat with a crappy oven!

Sleep out experience

As most of you know, last weekend I did the sleep out for the Canaan trust homeless charity. I was going to write this over the weekend but I was so tired so I put it off until today.

We did the sleep out in the middle of the town centre, next to one of the local churches. Luckily the church was open all night with facilities to make hot drinks, and there were snacks as well. I pretty much ate my way through the whole experience!

I took a sleeping bag and wore loads of layers but it was still freezing. It started raining at about 2am and literally didn’t stop at all. I can’t sleep when I’m surrounded by too many people because I get quite paranoid but I did doze off for about an hour. A lot of people stopped and told us we were doing a great job and put donations in our buckets. Thank goodness there weren’t TOO many drunks out and about! Luckily we didn’t get any harassment.

At about 5am the Rapid Relief team came and provided us all with bacon and sausage sandwiches which was amazing. I went straight to pick Max up after it ended at 7am so I was basically awake for 48 hours straight. I felt so ill on Sunday but I’m just about recovered now!

I’m so glad I did it even though it was a horrible experience. I’m quite a high maintenance person, I don’t go camping and I like mod cons so it was hard but it’s so important to try and raise awareness. I’d definitely do it again!

Easter weekend 💕

I love bank holidays! Max is off nursery for 2 weeks so I get some time at home with him which is always nice!

We had a great easter. On Saturday we went on an Easter egg hunt at treetops hospice in Risley. All the money went towards the hospice which is an amazing cause and all the children got an easter egg to take home which Max loved! Yesterday we stayed at home, ate chocolate and baked gingerbread.

Today we went out for a meal at the Wollaton. It’s my uncle’s 50th birthday and we all surprised him at the restaurant. Sometimes life gets so busy it’s hard to fit in family time but I’ve got a small family and we’re all really close so we all try and spend time together when we can.

The clocks went forward at the weekend which is another thing I’m happy about! Spring is finally here and I have so many exciting things going on over the next few months.

The only downside to the weekend was Max was ill. He developed conjunctivitis on Friday (typical when the doctors are closed for bank holiday!) I bought him some eye drops at the chemist but they’ve not made any difference so I’m taking him to the doctor tomorrow. I’m gutted because it seems he’s had everything going lately, as soon as we get rid of one thing there’s another!

This Friday my work colleagues and I are sleeping on the streets to raise money for our charity and awareness for the homeless. I’ve never done anything like this before and I really like my home comforts so it’s gonna be a challenge but I’m really excited. I’ll do a blog post on Saturday and write about how it went.

I hope everyone had an amazing weekend and completely overindulged!

My top 5 pet peeves

I’ll be honest here, I’m pretty easily irritated. As I mentioned previously I’m quite an impatient person and my tolerance level is quite low! Part of the blog challenge I’m doing is to list your top 5 pet peeves and this one wasn’t too hard for me to come up with!

1. Ignorance! There is no excuse for it in ANY way, shape or form. Any kind of ignorance absolutely grinds my gears.

2. Bad personal hygiene. I literally want to vomit if people smell or have bad breath, dirty nails, anything along those lines. It’s not difficult to keep clean!

3. Attention seeking on social media. It winds me up. Just be quiet. Nobody cares.

4. Disrespect of parents/the elderly. I HATE this. Especially when I see people moaning about their parents on social media. Be a bit more bloody grateful.

5. Bad manners. They don’t cost a penny, how hard is it to say please or thank you?

I could probably go on but I won’t. I’m inclined to be quite vocal about stuff that annoys me and I’m trying to stop letting it get on my nerves so much. I don’t like being negative nancy any more! ☺

The “full time mummy” debate

Just after I’d moved into my flat I was out in town with Max when I got stopped by a woman doing some kind of survey. We were chatting for a few minutes and she was taking my details when she asked “and what do you do? Are you a full time mum?” I didn’t know what to say because I cannot STAND that expression, but I didn’t have a job at that point. So technically I couldn’t really say anything.

First of all: I am by no means saying there’s anything wrong with being a stay at home mum. I stayed at home with Max from when he was 8 months old until he started nursery last September and I loved it. I personally prefer working part time as it gives me the best of both worlds, but everyone has a different opinion.

What bugs the CRAP out of me is when people describe staying at home as being a “full time mummy.” Let’s get this straight. It is NOT a job. It is NOT something that belongs in your “occupation” on Facebook. And it is certainly NOT the “hardest job in the world” and to say it is is quite frankly an insult to people such as life saving surgeons, people in the military, etc etc.

Being a stay at home mum was tiring and did drive me mad sometimes. But let’s not be silly here – when you’re at home you don’t have to work to a schedule. To a certain extent you can do things at your own pace. You can go and make a cuppa whenever you want, you don’t have to get dressed if you don’t bloody want to. And you do have fun.

When you choose to have a child, you are making a decision and a life commitment. If you think it’s a job and that you deserve endless praise for doing what women have been doing since the dawn of time then you shouldn’t be doing it. Whether you work 50 hours a week or you stay at home your children’s whole lives, we’re ALL “full time mums.” And it’s about time we got rid of this ridiculous expression.

Relationships

I said I wouldn’t be posting about this because I think some things should be kept private, but I’m doing a blog challenge where you write about a given list of topics so I thought I’d skim over it just to give everyone an idea of my life and why I don’t really place too much value in them.

I had a couple of short term relationships in my teens that were always dramatic and the end of the world (in that stupid teenage way until you realise when you’re older that they didn’t really matter). Obviously my most significant relationship was with Carl, who I met when I was 18 and went on to have a 5 year relationship and a child with. I thought we would be together forever; problem is when you meet someone so young things change over the years. You’re not the same person in your 20s as you were in your teens and when we split up I realised that it was probably the best decision we could have made.

I said after that I was going to spend some time on my own. I’d been in a serious relationship for such a long time and I was only 23 when it ended. I’d never experienced being single, having a flat that was completely mine (I went straight from my parents to a shared house and then to live with Carl) and being able to make decisions where I only had to think about myself (and Max of course).

It was 6 months before I dated anyone else and it was a pretty surreal experience when I did. I’d been used to a comfortable, safe relationship and this one brought drama which was not something I was prepared for. I find it impossible to trust anyone outside of my family and a couple of close friends. I definitely don’t trust men and I don’t think I ever will. This means I’m really reluctant to get too close to anyone and probably why I’m best when I’m not in a serious relationship. It just doesn’t matter to me like it does to some people. I have family that love me and friends that are there for me, I don’t really need anyone else.

Saying that, I’m still dating the same guy and it’s been going on over a year now. There’s something there that I can’t let go of. The way I live probably isn’t for everyone, but it works for me. I’m still on a journey of self discovery and who knows what kind of person I’ll be in 10 or even 5 years’ time? At the moment I’m just going with the flow and I’m happy with that. ☺

Life update ☺

I haven’t written a lot about what’s going on in my life lately because I don’t want to bore everyone and I don’t want to be repeating myself over and over! Anyway I’ve had the best week and I’m getting really excited as the year goes on about all the stuff I’m gonna be getting up to!

I went to London on Wednesday and I had the best time. I always love the time I spend in London, it’s one of my favourite places with some of my favourite people. I like to have a break when Max is at Carl’s house so I usually have a drink then but I only drink properly about once a month!

Me and my best friend have booked festival tickets so I’m so excited about that! I’ve never been to a festival in my life and at 25 it’s about time I did! Also another good friend has asked me to be her maid of honour when she gets married in June! I can’t wait and I’m so honoured that she’s asked me. Now I have a hen party to plan so that will be something to keep me occupied.

I can’t believe that in 6 months I’ll be starting uni, it’s been such a long journey from when I decided to do it over a year ago but everything is just on the up right now and I’m so hoping it stays that way. I’ve got the best family and friends in the world and everything else is just a bonus. ☺

We’re idolising the wrong kind of women

I’m currently sat on a train to London and I forgot to bring my book with me so I decided to write this post. I’ve been thinking about it for quite a while and I thought it was time I addressed this topic because it’s really bugging me (surprise surprise. We all know how easily irritated I am. 😂)

Yesterday was International Women’s Day. Something that I actually think is pretty cool, even though I’m not really into feminism. A day to recognise all the great women throughout history and celebrate everything they’ve done. But what was the one topic I kept coming back to all over the internet and social media? Kim Kardashian dropping ANOTHER naked selfie.

Let me get one thing straight: I don’t really care if she wants to post nudes. It’s not something I would do, I don’t really know why you’d want strangers to see you half naked on the internet. Whatever. What bugs me is that THIS was the major news, and it was all anyone could talk about.

There are so many women out there who do so many great things. While I will give Kim Kardashian her dues and say she’s a great businesswoman, what is she doing for mankind? Posting naked selfies and bringing out a clothing line is not something that should be being celebrated or coveted. As a humanitarian, I see women (and men) dedicating their entire lives to helping those less fortunate, campaigning for peace, women’s rights, charities, etc etc. But no. The trending topic was Kim’s selfie.

Reality TV is the devil. Stupid shows like “ex on the beach” mean it’s possible to get famous for doing pretty much nothing. And I see people on Twitter saying how much they love these people, they want to be just like them, etc. WHY?

I’d love to see people like Annalynne McCord get more recognition for the work they do. Sadly, these days our brains are being fried by trash TV. People will sell their souls to get their 5 minutes of fame and I can only see it getting worse.

My personality: strengths and weaknesses

Knowing yourself and your strengths and weaknesses is something I think is really important. I think it’s a good idea to sit down and really analyse yourself and it’s something I do quite a lot. So, here it is, my honest opinion – what I like and don’t like about myself.

The good:
– I’m loyal. I don’t understand fickle people. Once I’m your friend I’m your friend for life and I’ll always be there for you.
– I have a positive outlook on life. I’m rarely in a bad mood and when I am it doesn’t last for long!
– I’m thick skinned. Other peoples’ opinions of me mean pretty much nothing to me. I know myself.
– I’m practical. I have my feet on the ground and I don’t entertain flights of fancy. I’m good at making solid plans for what I want to achieve.
– I’m organised. I make lists and everything has a place.
– I’m adventurous. I like to try new things, take risks and step out of my comfort zone.
– I have a good sense of humour and I can laugh at myself.
– I’m true to myself. I’m not afraid to be a lone wolf and stand up for what I believe it.
– I’m independent. I don’t need to rely on anyone for anything, I do it myself.

The not so good:
– I can be insensitive. This is the major one for me. I find it hard to relate to the general everyday problems that people have because to me they’re not problems. I have a kind of “get over it” mentality and I’m working on trying to understand people a bit better.
– I’m emotionally detached and cold. I never cry and I struggle to form bonds with people.
– I’m stubborn. I hate asking for help or admitting that I have a problem.
– I’m sometimes judgemental. I really try not to be but I know I am.
– I’m materialistic. Outward appearances like clothes and makeup are important to me, probably more important than they should be.
– I’m impatient. I don’t like waiting for anything, I don’t like going over the same things over and over again.

Nobody is perfect and our personalities make us who we are, including the bad parts. It’s up to each individual to recognise our flaws and decide whether we need to work on them or not. I’m lucky that the people close to me accept my weaknesses as well as my strengths and I hope they see that the good outweighs the bad (most of the time. 😂)